It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
