So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
