I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
