i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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