..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
