Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
