You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel