i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.