Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.