I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
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The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.