apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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