You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Can I color on your dick again?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
