when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.