Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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