ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.