Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
