FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize