drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
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On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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