Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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