Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
