you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
