just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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