Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
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