check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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