Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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