I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
