Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
