We won't sleep together?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
