You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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