thus making me awesome and them whores
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
