Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
