I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
