Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize