I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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