When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
