I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
