i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
