she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
