It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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