"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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