I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
