She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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