i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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