Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
