There was a lot of him and a little penis
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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