so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
