Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
