My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
