the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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