she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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