It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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