He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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