i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
