i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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