I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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