How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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