you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
