Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
