I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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