WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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