You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
