We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
