And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
