I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
