On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY