omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.