Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.